Have you ever noticed how sometimes your body feels “on edge” for no clear reason — or other times, you just shut down and can’t find the energy to deal with life?
That’s your nervous system at work. And when you’ve lived through hard or overwhelming experiences, your nervous system can get stuck in patterns of survival.
Polyvagal theory — a big phrase from neuroscience — gives us a simple way to understand this. Think of it like your body’s built-in alarm system.
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The Three States of the Nervous System
Instead of just “fight or flight,” your body actually has three primary states:
1. Ventral Vagal (Safe & Social – Green Zone):
When you feel calm, grounded, and connected with yourself and others. You might notice steady energy, ease in your breathing, or the ability to laugh and enjoy.
2. Sympathetic (Mobilization – Yellow Zone):
When your body senses danger, it mobilizes. Heart races, thoughts speed up, muscles tense. This might feel like anxiety, irritability, or restlessness.
3. Dorsal Vagal (Immobilization – Red Zone):
When things feel too overwhelming, your system may “power down.” You might feel numb, disconnected, foggy, or without energy. This is your body’s way of conserving and protecting you from too much.
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Why This Matters for Trauma
Trauma isn’t just about what happened — it’s about how your nervous system had to adapt.
• Some nervous systems learn to stay in sympathetic mobilization (always on alert).
• Others lean toward dorsal vagal shutdown (disconnecting when life feels heavy).
Neither is a flaw. These are survival strategies your body used to keep you safe.
In polyvagal language, this is shaped by neuroception — the nervous system’s automatic scanning for cues of safety or danger. The challenge is that sometimes neuroception misreads the world and keeps us stuck in protection, even when we are no longer in danger.
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Learning to Listen to Your Body
In my sessions, I often invite clients to notice sensations in their body. For example, I might ask: “Where do you feel that deep sadness in your body?” or “What are you noticing in your body right now?”
At first, many clients find this difficult. A common response is, “Nothing much.” That’s completely normal. Our culture doesn’t teach us to pay attention to the subtle language of our bodies.
But over time, something shifts. Clients often begin to notice — a heaviness in the chest when sadness is present, tension in the jaw when anger surfaces, or a sense of lightness after releasing tears. It’s striking how deeply aware you can become once you start connecting your body’s sensations with your experiences in life.
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The Window of Tolerance & Nervous System States
Here’s a simple way of looking at these states together:
Some models call this the “Window of Tolerance.” In polyvagal theory, these are described as the ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states. Both are ways of naming how our bodies respond to the world.
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🌱 Gentle Supports for Each State
• Ventral Vagal (Safe & Social – Green Zone): Notice this state and savor it — connection and calm help strengthen it.
• Sympathetic (Mobilization – Yellow Zone): Try slowing your breath or gently grounding with your senses.
• Dorsal Vagal (Immobilization – Red Zone): Gentle movement or warmth (like a cup of tea or stepping into sunlight) can help bring energy back.
(I’ll be sharing more detailed resourcing ideas in my next blog post.)
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The Hopeful Part: Your Nervous System Can Heal
Here’s the good news: your nervous system is flexible. It can learn safety again.
• Small cues of safety — gentle breathing, a kind look, grounding your feet on the floor.
• Co-regulation — often, safety is first rediscovered in the presence of another caring person.
• Therapy — especially trauma-focused approaches like EMDR or Internal Family Systems, which help reset old patterns.
Every experience of safety, connection, or calm strengthens your pathways back to ventral vagal regulation.
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Takeaway
Next time you feel anxious, shut down, or safe and connected — pause and ask: Which state might I be in?
This gentle question can open the door to befriending your nervous system. And with support, you can learn to spend more and more time in safety, connection, and presence.