What Really Matters to You?
Most of us carry a clear idea of what our priorities are—family, career, health, financial stability, relationships, education. But when we pause to look closely, the way we spend our time and energy doesn’t always match what we say matters most.
The Two-Chart Exercise
In sessions, I often invite clients to create two pie charts:
1. Your Ideal Priorities – If you could design your life according to your values, how would you divide your energy?
2. Your Actual Living – How are you truly spending your time and attention right now?
Example:
• Family – 35% (ideal) → 20% (actual)
• Career – 25% (ideal) → 45% (actual)
• Health – 20% (ideal) → 10% (actual)
• Finances – 10% (ideal) → 15% (actual)
• Marriage – 5% (ideal) → 5% (actual)
• Academic goals – 5% (ideal) → 5% (actual)
Seeing these two charts side by side can be powerful. The goal isn’t judgment—it’s awareness.
Why This Matters
From a trauma-informed lens, misalignments often carry meaning.
• People with trauma histories may unconsciously over-invest in areas like work or caretaking, while under-investing in rest or relationships.
• These patterns once served as survival strategies, even if now they feel limiting.
• Cultural and familial context also matters. In some communities, family may always come first; in others, education or career may carry the highest value.
There is no “right” chart. The only question is whether your current allocation feels aligned with who you are in this season of your life.
Reflection for You
• Which category feels most authentic to you right now?
• Where do you notice a gap between what you’d like to prioritize and how you’re actually living?
• What is one gentle shift—of any size—that could bring you closer to a life that feels more balanced for you?
This practice isn’t about fixing or ranking priorities. It’s about pausing, noticing, and creating space to live more intentionally on your own terms.
✨ Even a small adjustment, wherever you choose, can create more steadiness and authenticity in your life.
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for therapy.